Your child still needs you as a father, not as a visitor.

"That should be the most important thing from the man's point of view: His child wants him and his child needs him," Finley says.

Too many men seek out a new relationship before the dust has settled on their divorce, says psychologist Sam J.Here’s what they said, followed by my thoughts on how they might overcome these dating problems and attract their best relationship.◊♦◊This is a common complaint from women. So guys, please pay attention to more than the boobs and the butt.The other B, the brain, is just as important, especially as you’re getting to know a woman. Anyone who’s looking for a true connection is more likely to find it with someone closer to their age.— As a dating coach for single women over 40, one of the first questions I ask a client is, “What’s your biggest problem in dating? I recently asked a group of about 300 single, divorced, and widowed women over 40 what their biggest problems were in dating. But when a man rushes sex, women often feel objectified.” I want to know what they’ve tried and what their struggles are. I wanted to see how many struggled with the same issues. They want to be appreciated for more than their bodies."Focus on the other adult when starting a relationship," he says."She can meet the kids when you know you are serious." Don't make the mistake of continuing to fight with your ex, especially if children are involved. Their answers help me tailor a program that helps them attract their ideal match. Are they unknowingly putting up guards that turn men off?"Acknowledge that it is not the right time for that." After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix.Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men."Learn to manage as well as you can from the middle ground," says Braver."Diplomacy and negotiating skills are key." Being civil with your ex may encourage more flexibility in terms of custody, and potentially more time with your kids."The relationships they start do not often work out in the long run," he says. I've never had a man take me up on that advice, but I do try to slow them down." He also advises men to date casually at first."Tell the woman you've just been through a tough divorce and that you're not ready for a committed relationship," he suggests.