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But people who aren’t Christians can’t understand these truths from God’s Spirit.… However, you can only discern His counsel when you are willing to listen and yield to Him.

To Jesus, romantic passion is the wrong foundation for a marriage.

He wants you to give your heart to someone on the basis of character and passionate sacrificial love. This question pertains to the most important aspect of your relationship—the spiritual.

To help you assess if your relationship contains these elements, consider the following eight questions before you get engaged. If you or your date does not know Jesus as the primary Source of love, then you will try to manipulate love from one another.

I don’t have to struggle on my own to be a good husband to Ashley. Since He lives within both of us, He knows when she is tired or frustrated and can prompt me to encourage her.

Likewise, He can inspire Ashley to support me when I need encouragement.

When I have acted upon those urges, Ashley has often exclaimed, “How did you know what I needed?

I never hinted or asked you to do those things.” I knew what Ashley needed because Christ motivated me.

Your heart needs more than romantic affection to survive; it needs unconditional love, which can only be found in Jesus Christ.

This kind of supernatural love creates a bond stronger than that of any non-Christian married couple.

Let me clarify that our marriage bond in Christ does not give Ashley and me some sort of spiritual voodoo. Yet as we respond to the desires that Jesus puts within our hearts, He leads us to love one another in the best manner. Joined together in Christ, Ashley and I share the same wish to glorify God, the same joys and sorrows, and the same Source of love—we are one (Ephesians -32).

Yet many times in our marriage I have felt the distinct urge to wash the dishes for her. Jesus created an impulse within my heart to love Ashley in this way.

On other occasions, Christ has prompted me to spontaneously clean Ashley’s car, compliment her, or stop what I was doing and hold her after she had had a bad day.




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