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Here is wide selection of Irish jokes, from the dry to the dumb.One of the great Irish traits is their ability to make fun of themselves and they have perfected the trait.The man was delighted and got drunk on this one magic Guiness bottle for weeks then he remembered that he had two other wishes. "Yes master, you have two more wishes, what would you like? "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business. "Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again." "You know that magic, never ending Guinness bottle" he asks the Genies. "Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back? Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church which she had always attended as a child. "Well, does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?

"I tell you, O'Rourke, these New York barbers gotta stranglehold on the citizens. His doctor told him that it was normal for a man's sexual drive to decrease with advancing years, but Big Mick wasn't having any.Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road.To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed.Two days after the surgery, Mick was sitting in one of the local Irish-style taverns, sucking on a beer and trying to ignore the still-present pain.In the next booth he overheard part of a conversation: "...an' Oi don't know what's to become of the Parish... "Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. " "You're having me on now because I'm Irish," said the Irishman. "Upon seeing his son's black eye Murphy asked him, "how'd ye be comin' by that glorious black eye, me lad?The doctor told Big Mick he didn't think that such drastic measures were called for, but Mick persisted.Finally the doctor agreed to perform the operation.She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. " "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi... His pal Mc Ginty saw him and called, "Sean, me boy, are ye afeared of a few spots o' rain, now? We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds." "Mrs. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it.She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips. " Sean replied, "I'm not..fish come here fer shelter."O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. " "Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?Many thanks to all of you have sent us these jokes and all the others we can't print.An English man and an Irish man are driving head on at night, on a twisty, dark road.Out comes the Genie and asks "Master you have released me from the lamp and I grant you three wishes, what would you like" Irishman scratches his head, then answers "A bottle of Guinness that never gets empty. "A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "What's your name and address?"Granted master" retorted the Genie and produced the bottle. " "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.Looking for a single woman or man for friendship, romance or dating? It will take you to singles seeking friendship, romance or dating, depending on the type of relationship you select in the box below.Using the single pen pals search box it's quick and easy to reach a very long listing of singles - give it a try!

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