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I’m young and I want to have fun, out in the world, not be tied down to someone’s living room while her kid sleeps in the bedroom. I admire my friend for being a stand-up guy and taking care of his son, so my opinion of a woman doing the same … Also, her ex had issues with me being around his daughter because he was threatened by the relationship that was forming.Also, my friend’s ex had a kid that always wanted to sleep in his mom’s bed and that would be a problem for me. I want all the perks that come with a grown-up relationship.” “A lot of my friends are divorced and one guy even has a kid after a one-night stand.

When it comes to relationships, I’m fond of saying, “But there are a few couples in my life who I look to as models of the kind of marriage I’d like one day. They are the dynamic centriforce around which the family’s life orbits. There is lots of research to suggest that a happy marriage is the cornerstone of well-adjusted kids. D., writes in her relationship guide, The Book of Love: “No matter how sacrilegious it sounds, you need to put your relationship before your children. If you’re not in a committed relationship, it is very easy to make your kids the prominent one in your life.

Because in those families, there is all the more love to go around.

A couple years ago, a guy I went out with, read my blog before we went out, and mulled my opinions on putting your kids behind your romantic partner.

The most interesting thing about the essay was the resulting shitstorm of controversy which landed Waldman on a much-viewed Oprah episode during which a hostile audience nearly attacked her. Cliche as it may sound: You gotta put yourself first. You must make it a top priority to hang out with other adults — girlfriends, dates, relatives and friends.

Yes, that essay is a decade old, but it warrants a revisit because parents — mothers most especially — are still expected to make our children the center of our worlds, and I do love [my daughter]. It is not normal to spend all your time with children, nor make your offspring your primary emotional support.

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