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I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.

Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.

According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student.

But he said he was never able to satisfy her (yes, in way), so they parted.

Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different.

This is the eleventh piece to be published on the Get The Guy blog from my brother Stephen.

When I’m in China, I tend to turn a lot of heads, especially in the countryside — and that’s not just because I’m a foreigner.

dating a guy who doesnt think hes good enough-18dating a guy who doesnt think hes good enough-6

If you go to any major city in China, you will invariably run into the foreign man-Chinese woman pairings in any major tourist or shopping destination; not so with foreign women and Chinese men.

There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club. One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with.

Off the top of my head, I can think of Rachel De Woskin’s Foreign Babes in Beijing: Behind the Scenes of a New China and Repeat After Me: A Novel, Nicole Mones’ Lost in Translation, and Pearl S. So I began to wonder — why are there so few Chinese guys and foreign girls becoming couples?

The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again.

On the flip side, I suspect that some foreign women might be unwilling to give Chinese men a chance because of money.

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