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It signals shallowness of emotions rather than strength of love.

He elaborates, “Normal, healthy individuals require a long process to develop a relationship because there is so much at stake… Carver states that Losers often begin with indirect violence—such as demonstratively hitting the wall with their fist or throwing objects—before they start pushing, punching or hitting their partners.

Such outbursts also train the partners to become gradually habituated to acts of violence. They also engage in long-term relationships, however, to gain more lasting control over certain more promising targets.

It’s nearly impossible to control strong human beings who have clear boundaries and a healthy self-esteem.

His assertion that he pampered Stacy by indulging her obsession with plastic surgery rings false.

By way of contrast, her friends’ and family’s claim that he criticized her to the point that she felt compelled to make constant “improvements” in her physical appearance sounds much more plausible. In the wild, predators isolate their prey from the rest of the herd to better attack and devour it.

As Carver observes, “The Loser feels your friends and family might influence you or offer negative opinions about their behavior…

Eventually, rather than face the verbal punishment, interrogation, and abuse, you’ll develop the feeling that it’s better not to talk to family and friends.

Once they have secured their chosen partners in their grasp, they put them down to erode their self-esteem.Stacy’s growing insecurity also placed her under Drew’s power to determine how she felt about herself. That’s precisely what psychopaths do to their targets.Losers isolate their partners from their friends, colleagues and families.They may do so through overt criticism and by following them around when they meet with others, as Drew did to Stacy.Sometimes they opt for more subtle manipulation, such as by covertly turning the victim against her own family and friends (and vice versa).Carver states that, for instance, Losers “constantly correct your slight mistakes, making you feel ‘on guard’, unintelligent, and leaving you with the feeling that you are always doing something wrong…This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly–as though you deserved it.” According to Tracy’s and Stacy’s families and friends, after seducing them, Drew undermined both women’s self-confidence.The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of ‘The Loser’ and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically.” () 1. “If he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property even once, drop them,” Carver advises.As we’ve seen, Drew Peterson escalated the abuse of his partners.Typically, in less than a few weeks of dating you’ll hear that you’re the love of their life, they want to be with you forever, and they want to marry you.You’ll receive gifts, a variety of promises, and be showered with their attention and nice gestures.” Drew Peterson and other dangerous seducers wouldn’t get any partners, much less attractive young women, if they showed their true colors from the very beginning. They deluge their targets with flattery, promises and gifts at the beginning of the relationship.Similarly, Carver notes that the Loser doesn’t have to exhibit all of the symptoms listed below to be dangerous.The presence of even three of these symptoms indicates a potentially harmful relationship.Anything above this number points to not just probable, but certain harm.Carver begins by defining “the Loser”: “‘The Loser’ is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship…




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