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And on the other hand, unless you’re going out with somebody she’s young, I don’t think it’s cause for judgment.Being predatory is just plain gross on either side of the equation, either from young people looking to trade sex for free Hulu Plus, or old people suffering conversation with somebody who I don’t have to tell you that the only people who get to decide whether you’re enjoying each other as people are you and your dinner companion.Go out with people because you want to be naked with them and still hang out with them after.Sure, a lot of compatibility is being at the same place in your life and liking the same things.

When you completely remove personality and individual experience from the equation and rely exclusively on stuff like "young," "blue eyes," and "no glasses," you end up with Robert, that weirdo in the beret.

From a sexual attraction standpoint, I challenge you to stand me shirtless next to Sophia Loren in Look, Steely Dan probably couldn’t talk at all to "Hey Nineteen" because they admittedly had "nothing in common." Not because she was too young to name an Aretha Franklin song (which, like, come ON, Steely Dan); the idea that people are what pop culture references they know reduces falling in love to trading trivia. A lot of women have told me they won’t date younger men because of maturity issues, and that’s probably where the idea of a prohibitive "age gap" comes into play for a lot of people.

As anybody who’s ever had to play "What are your top five favorite movies? A fantastic woman several years my senior recently told me I should only date older men, because even though I’m 28, "being in your twenties is a form of functional retardation." I think there’s a grain of truth there, if only because I don’t know anybody who looks back and thinks, "Man, how awesome was I in my twenties?

The idea that young people like older people because of the financial security is irritating.

One, because people who give a fuck about money are awful, and because I’ve met plenty of old, old dudes who are still doing the Somerset Maugham-y cheerful hobo routine. I like the Civil War, documentaries, and talking about whiskey as though it were a zaftig prostitute, so old guys and I get along.




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