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And yet, they probably resemble Penelope’s dad more than they resemble her brother….

This is the most compelling reason behind why younger women might go for older men: they’re daddy substitutes.

He ended a long-term relationship last year (non live-in) and I was glad when he said he'd met someone who really "did it for him"- bright, vivacious, intellectual and, I just learned when I met her- 19 years old. (He's technically a professor but he's non-teaching, so she's not ever going to be in any of his classes, so that's not an issue.) Hmmm...

she's certainly cute and seems really nice, but I can't get over the age difference.

It’s a lot easier for a man to take out a carefree, responsibility free, baggage free, wrinkle free 28-year-old, which is why so many men try to go in that direction. Men want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men.

Put another way, if a woman has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER? Before any 40 people get all hot and bothered about this – I am not judging. I do think people improve with age (my wife is nodding). She doesn’t need a guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s sexually peaking at 43..

I have a co-worker with whom I'm work chums (we're not bosom buddies but we like each other at work- I'm sure you've had one).

I do believe that at later ages gaps are less relevant but there is generally a huge difference in maturity/ life experience between a 38 year old man and a 19 year old girl.

The point is that these affairs break up more often than stick together in the long run, and when affairs break up someone nearly always gets hurt no matter what we would like to believe.

I would be interested to find out how much the 19 yr old mentioned in the OP's family know about her 'relationship' with your colleague. For such great age differences, I can't believe this is true beyond the superficial layer called lust (and/or gold digging)? From the age of 32 to 37, I dated a woman 17 years my senior. As long as nobody's breaking the law and everyone's having fun, I don't see a problem here.

My view is that if you have to tell lies/ feel uncomfortable about introducing your partner to your family and friends (given that you have an otherwise excellent relationship with your family - some mileages may vary) your gut instinct should be telling you that something is wrong with this situation and it doesn't bode well. When the luster is gone, the younger one probably won't be around for the long haul. I just wish my little sister could see that and I fear for her safety (she lost her virginity last year by being drugged and raped by a 40 yr old at a party no one knew she was at because she had lied).




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In this regard, the following aspects are particularly significant: All of these worries are genuine and can be found in many online relationships.


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To elaborate is no avail, learn'd and unlearn'd feel that it is so.


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